just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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