Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The adults are the big ones right?
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