What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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