How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
