i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
