Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize