So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
