well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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