it was like his penis was on wheels.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
