Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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