if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
