He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
