He is an equal opportunity slut.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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