Where did you get a picture of my penis
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
