I want to stick my p in your. b.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
