You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
