Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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