My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize