Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
