you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
