summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
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