Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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