Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize