I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
