"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize