Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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