i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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