porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
