Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
