There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Randomize
