Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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