Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
