So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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