So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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