i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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