fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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