Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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