i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
