If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
not ubering you a puppy
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
