she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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