did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
