And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
