Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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