I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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