in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize