did you get engaged???
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
