Your face is a jimmy john
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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