yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
