so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
