that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
