he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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