I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
handjob tips. give me some.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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