I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
