Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
