the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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