I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
