# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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