dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
