You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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