Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
