Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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