Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
