i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
