who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
