how can u be prego again
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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