The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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