cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
