I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
