This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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