Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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