Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
