im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
