Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
