I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
