It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
